I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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