Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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