Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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