woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
