I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Bring me that man meat
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just gargled with NyQuil
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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