We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She bit a glass in half.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
