dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize