Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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