hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Randomize
