Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize