Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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