At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
