Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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