I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
