Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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