What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
