The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
