Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
