This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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