She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
