Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
