I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
