Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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