every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
