how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
