I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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