we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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