Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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