I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
