They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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