I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
