He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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