Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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