would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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