Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize