My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
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