i don't like sucking hair
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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