Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
