this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is Oprah even human
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
