theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
