Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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