sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize