I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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