i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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