He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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