it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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