New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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