TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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