Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize