no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
