Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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