he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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