...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
