How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
