My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
