Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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